if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm too high and old for this...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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