look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
