she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
