we're blogging at a bar
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
