like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize