Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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