I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize