erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
