You're my little dorito
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
