is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
