Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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