At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Randomize
