he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
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There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
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Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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