i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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