I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
