I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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