the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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