Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So squirting runs in the family.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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