I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
