You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
