i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
