Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
