Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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