I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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