i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
