didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
