In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
