I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
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get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
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I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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