I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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