you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize