is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
