Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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