do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
