I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
