MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
