If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
