dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm like, not good at living.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
