I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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