It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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