I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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