the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize