i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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