This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
