can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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