It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
