Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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