no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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