grandma shit on top of the toilet
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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