Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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