Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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