I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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