Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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