Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
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I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
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I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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