i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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