is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
