I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
