What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
