ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
