whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
