Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
