i don't like sucking hair
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
