with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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