if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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