I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
